I have changed a lot this year, so did last year.
When I got off the plane from LA to Shanghai, I was very happy of the fact that I have one whole year off to work on something that I really wanted to do. I made tons of plans for myself.
Now when I look back, needless to say that not much of those plans are finished and I found myself in the middle of a depression. I have been sitting in front of this laptop for almost one year now, everyday I did something on it, time passed like a drunk driver's car and now, it's middle of may! The guity feeling stroke me every once in a while but it's not the main case here.
More, my OCD problem just got more and more severe, I constantly worry about those non-existing problems, worried if I am turning this or that. Well, it's truly depressing, now I don't think that my sex drive is working properly cause I don't get feelings that I want a girl both emotionally and sexually like I used to. And my OCD kicked in and made myself worry if I am turning gay, which, I know, I am not, because I am not interested in guys, but I just can't get rid of the worriness.
A lot of the people feel envy about my life, "Hey, look at him, he doesn't have to do a damn thing!" and hate me because of that. Which I don't really care. I can't even get my thoughts together.
Kelsey and Seth are experienceing problems now, but to my opinion that they are gonna be alright, they are the most awesome couple I have ever seen!
I am leaving here the end of July and will be in Alabama for a while, well, at least that is my plan. I think by the time I got into states, I'll feel much better and most of the problems could be solved. Right now, I am living in between of reality and non-reality. Ah, may good luck to be with me! Make me feel happy~
Good luck to all of you too, my true friends.